


Surprises

by laEsmeralda



Series: Plain Truths [5]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 18:18:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3660363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laEsmeralda/pseuds/laEsmeralda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry and Roy are not friends, and neither is who the other expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprises

**Author's Note:**

> I generally resist requests to take a story in a particular direction, or to write more when a series feels finished. A couple of readers planted ideas that I resisted at first, given my own difficult relationship with Roy's character as presented in _Arrow_. Turns out, Barry had different ideas.

Barry coded into his voicemail and found an _urgent_ waiting. 

"Oliver and Dig went on a mission—maybe you knew that?" Roy's voice. Hesitant. "They haven't broken radio silence in three days. I'm supposed to hold down… this. Felicity's on emotional strike, not coming down here—can't blame her. I'm going nuts waiting and chasing and not sleeping. I don't know what you've got going on there, but I'd be grateful if you might be available to lend a hand. Um, this is Roy. Thanks. Either way." 

Closing his eyes briefly, Barry tried to banish the hollow of fear in his stomach at the fact that Oliver and Dig hadn't checked in. He had known in broad terms that they would both be out of the country. _We'll be away for a week or so on a tough mission_. Oliver was always secretive when leaving messages. 

Roy was not Barry's favorite person, for reasons he hadn't begun to untangle. But Barry phoned back, and Roy picked up. "I'm on my way," Barry said. He checked his watch. "Train leaves in an hour."

"Thanks, Allen." Roy sounded so relieved. "Text me when you're close and I'll pick you up. Save your speed, I think the underworld somehow _knows_ that I'm on my own."  
*******

A long train ride and answering three alerts upon arrival made it an exhausting night. The city quieted by the small hours. Barry again marveled that criminals don't withstand 3 a.m. any better than everyday people.

"Time to get some sleep," Roy pronounced in a ragged voice. They set the alert system on repeat text. "We could crash here," Roy said, reluctantly. "But I think it'd be better to really rest for a few hours. My place is a few blocks away."

This was new, Roy having a place again. "I think you should get out of here for sure," Barry replied. "I can stay here, I got this." The lights and the echoing hum of equipment would not be restful, but he had offered to help and help he would.

"No way, man. You've done me a solid coming up here. I actually have a second room—it's a stretch to call it a guest room but I keep it ready."

The rented house was basic, spare but clean. The sheets on the small twin bed and the towels sitting on it were fresh. And the shower was blissfully hot.

Turned out, Roy's yelling nightmare was not any more restful than lights and the hum of equipment. Barry was down the short hall, standing next to Roy's bed before coming fully awake. He knelt on the edge of the mattress and touched Roy's shoulder, ready to shoot out of reach if necessary. "Easy, Roy," he said gently. 

"Oliver," the still sleeping Roy hissed, seizing Barry's arm, "They've got Thea…" he mumbled something incoherent after that and fell back to a deeper place. 

Barry looked at his arm, clutched tightly in both of Roy's hands. He looked at the other man's pinched face, hollows under his eyes. And sighed. "Dammit," he murmured. No matter what, it would be awkward. He opted for rolling Roy a little bit away and sliding onto the bed enough to lie down. He figured in a few minutes, Roy would let go and he could get back to his own bed. 

He woke up with sunlight in his face and Roy's eyes about a foot away. Barry sat up abruptly. "Shit," he said. 

"I said something else in the same vein," Roy replied. "What gives?"

Barry rubbed his face. "You had a bad dream, a really loud one. I came in to wake you, and well, you didn't wake up. I would have left, but you had a death-lock on my arm." He omitted saying how glad he was that Roy didn't sleep naked.

Roy made it to his elbows. "I still don't sleep or wake normally. It's an ongoing effect of purging the secret sauce. Sorry about that. Should have warned you."

Barry hazarded a smile. "Wanna go get some coffee? I'm buying."

There wasn't much in the neighborhood, so they took the bike. Barry felt very odd, riding behind Roy, thigh-to-thigh. But he thought it would be rude to say he'd meet him there. 

With coffee and food starting to go down, Barry felt safe to wade into hazardous interpersonal waters. "You were dreaming about Thea being in trouble. I know a little something about unrequited love. And being around that someone all the time. Feeling protective."

Roy nodded, a myriad of emotions passed over his face. He met Barry's eyes. "Has it gotten any better for you?"

"Yeah."

"What's the secret?" Roy asked with a half-hearted smile. "Drinking? Debauchery?"

Barry couldn't stop the flush. He tried to ignore it. "Neither one are really my style. Have you told her how you feel? It was awful for me, but being directly rejected actually helped."

"Yeah, Thea knows." Roy fiddled with his cup. "I've already been directly rejected."

"So not that." Barry sighed. "You have to find a way to move on. It would help to stop depriving yourself of any semblance of a life. Not staying in the cave is a good step."

Roy was apparently cannier than that. "I understand you moved back in with your foster-father. So that wasn't it for you."

Barry smiled. "No, but Joe loves me. He's the only person who actually says it to me. I need that. To remember that I'm someone loved. Sharing the space with him—that's easy. It doesn't feel like a step backward."

"You know, I've been feeling more on the outside with my team. I thought it might be you at first, but you're not around much and I still feel it."

"They care so much about you, Roy. You can't doubt that."

"It's more like another layer of secret handshake I don't know between Oliver and Dig… even Felicity. I thought they had let me in. But lately…." He shrugged.

Guilt suffused Barry's chest. He took a different tack. "Are you dating anyone?"

Roy shook his head.

"Hooking up?"

More slowly, another shake. "Everything feels too heavy for me to just party, pick someone up and then walk away, start over. And every woman I look at, I still compare to Thea." 

"Been there, man, I get it." Which is exactly why Oliver's touch that day, so light on his bare chest and belly, had been utterly devastating. Gooseflesh rose in remembrance. 

Thankfully, an alert sounded before Roy could ask any questions. 

On the bike, Barry was careful to keep his hips back. With Oliver on his mind, his body became unpredictable. He tried not to let the tangents unfold, Oliver alone, Oliver and John, voices over the phone, John visiting him alone last month. But he couldn't stop the recall or the sensations. Blood pumped into inconvenient places. He shut his eyes. They were offline. Imprisoned, hurt, or just in deep cover. His body cooled at that. All he could do right now was be in the moment, work, and hope.

Daytime rescues were easier for the Flash than Arsenal, but they did their best. And then they spent the afternoon at the cave. Still no word. And no Felicity. They sparred. They cleaned and calibrated equipment. Barry checked in with Dr. Snow and found things quiet at home. Thankfully. 

Finally, Barry said, "We need a real break. Is there a park or some woods nearby? You know, the great outdoors? The Japanese believe in walking under trees to relieve stress."

"Great idea," Roy replied.

Five miles out of town, they parked and walked in the dappling sunlight, leaves murmuring in the light breeze. Ten minutes in, Barry shared his water bottle. He felt camaraderie with Roy that had previously been absent. All he could see before were the differences, now, he could feel some emotional similarities. 

"I know I didn't treat you so well at first," Roy said, suddenly. "I'm glad you didn't repay me in kind."

It was good to hear and also guilt-inducing. "I must have seemed like an intruder. It wasn't my intention."

They managed silence for another five minutes or so. "I dodged your question earlier," Barry ventured. "You know drinking doesn't work for me—not that it's a good response to heartache anyway. As for debauchery…"

"I was joking. Mostly. Just looking for advice. Anything that could help."

Barry's heart wanted to run from the edge of the interpersonal cliff but he jumped anyway. "If I told you that I was having, ah, therapeutic sex with guys, would you be repulsed by that?" It really didn't come out as the hypothetical he had intended.

"I'm _surprised_." And Barry could hear it in his voice. Roy continued, "What makes you think I'd be repulsed?"

"Street gangs are notoriously homophobic." The path curved in its crooked loop around a lake. Barry tried not to inadvertently lean into Roy's personal space as they followed the turn.

"Gang life was a way to survive, not a philosophy. I'm friends with Cyn. I was really close to Sara. Both bi."

Barry cleared his throat a little. "Women. It's different, right?"

"Not really. I don't think so." The silence stretched a bit. "So are you saying that because you're in love with Iris, and can't have her, you decided to play for the other team for awhile? I… I don't understand how that works." The curiosity in Roy's voice was genuine, not taunting.

"Not exactly." Barry struggled with how to do this without outing Oliver or John, which was on them to do, not him. "A friend of mine said I couldn't survive on just my own touch. He pointed out that casual hookups obviously weren't for me or I'd already be doing it. He was right, of course. As a guy who isn't normally into men, he offered something… safe, limited. Need and trust, he called it. I accepted."

"How's that working out for you?" Roy asked with some humor.

"Pretty well, actually," Barry chuckled, his face feeling hot. "Considering that I'd never once fantasized about a guy before that. Who knew?"

"You do seem better," Roy said, "more at ease." Twenty paces more in silence. "So, this is a pretty oblique conversation. I don't know how I would have reacted to an offer like that."

And Barry wasn't Oliver, to brave past the first signs of astonishment. He just walked.

"Not that you're offering."

"Right. Wait. I don't know. I was just trying to give you an honest answer."

"Which I appreciate. That all had to be really hard to say, especially if you thought I was a hater."

"I didn't say that." Barry risked a look aside at Roy, confirming the lingering humor in his face. "Or think it."

"As far as upbringing goes, I'm blue collar at best, just an edge over trailer trash. The things some people in the Glades end up embracing, the nihilism, the hate, I get why they go there. But that's not me inside, it never has been. Oliver tries to understand me, but there's pity there, silver-spoon guilt. Dig has a better sense of who I am but he still gets surprised."

"Sorry I misjudged you."

"It's okay, I misjudged you too." They were on their way back now, toward the motorcycle. 

"How so?" Barry asked, afraid to. 

"You're so positive, so… " Roy shook his head, seemingly at a loss for the right world. "I thought you were arrogant. Too smart for almost everybody. You made Felicity swoon. I thought only Oliver could elicit that goofy grin from her."

Again, Barry gave a sidelong look. "You got something for her?"

Roy shrugged. "Who doesn't? Even Dig looks at her sometimes. Hot rocket scientist. Like you. A match."

There were many levels on which hearing that was strange. 

"I thought for sure you'd end up together. And then Oliver started training you. He'd only just agreed to take me on as apprentice. I guess I was jealous. But I've figured out what it is that everyone likes about you."

"Everyone does _not_ like me," Barry retorted.

Roy ignored him. "It's that you're open. You're more like Dig, I behave more like Oliver. It isn't that you haven't been hurt. But you don't close up and use secrets to protect yourself. When you're in a position to be hurt, you take another big chance. Like with me, today. I really admire that."

"Gosh. I don't know what to say."

"Anyway, thanks for being here for me after I treated you poorly. Thanks for trusting me past your doubts. I'll be worthy of it."

They were back at the bike. Now, Barry felt especially weird at the prospect of climbing on behind Roy. Before he could ponder it too long, Roy gave him a nudge and handed him the keys. "My shoulders are sore from the last few days." 

They clipped on the helmets, Barry swung astride, and Roy slid behind him. Moving together, they tipped the heavy bike and took off. Moving at speed without effort was fun, more fun in the front with the wind in his face. Roy's weight against him was comfortable, not intrusive, and he started to relax.  
*******

The shout brought him harshly awake. He lay in the dark for a few more seconds, listening to Roy struggle. It occurred to him that this was happening all the time when he wasn't around. But Barry never used that excuse to ignore someone in need of help when he _was_ around. In a nanosecond more, he was in Roy's room. This time, he used speed to wake him just a little by changing his position and vanished to the kitchen. 

He poured himself a glass of milk and downed it, flinching at the cold. He turned at a small scrape against wood. Roy stood in the doorway, bare shoulder against the jamb. "Thanks."

"Hmm, maybe I'm not as stealthy as I think I am."

"Well, I don't think your smell would make it all the way down the hallway on its own. Your hygiene seems pretty good."

 _My smell_. Something vulnerable stirred at that recognition. He put the glass in the sink, wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, and turned the water on to rinse glass and hands. Distraction. 

"It's a good smell," Roy continued. He stayed in the doorway.

Barry froze. 

"You were worried that I'd think you were making a move. Because of what you told me today." Roy's voice was low, neutral, his face half in shadow.

Barry looked over his shoulder and then turned, leaning back against the sink, facing Roy who was no longer the enemy. "Yeah. Clichéd plot of a bad movie."

"Only if I had been faking the nightmare."

That something vulnerable fluttered in his belly. "Which you weren't."

Roy shook his head. "When I realized you'd been and gone, I had to come find you."

 _Why?_ died on Barry's lips. He couldn't read the situation, only his own nerves and low heat, swiftly rising. He suspected it was projection. Formerly clear human patterns looked more complex since Oliver. 

"You must be freaking out, even more than me, that they're… out of contact. I would never have guessed. Sometimes the mind is smarter in a dream."

"Oh—"

"—before the bad part of the dream."

"I didn't feel I could say for them. Only for me." 

"There's nothing you have to explain. I'm glad, let's leave it at that. And I'm not jealous of you, I thought I made that clear today."

Warring emotions, embarrassment, fear, relief, roiled in Barry's chest. It seemed like Roy needed to talk, so he didn't interrupt.

"You know, there were times, I think, unconsciously, that I could see something pass between Oliver and Dig. I feel bad that they thought they had to hide it."

Barry swallowed the thickness in his throat. "They were sort of hiding it from themselves. For a long time." He couldn't think about bad things happening to them maybe at this very moment. It made his knees feel week.

"Somehow, they're going to be okay. They had each other's backs long before we ever came along." Roy said, voice shaking. "I… I'd come over there and hold you but—"

"It'd be weird for you," Barry finished for him. 

A low chuckle, a haunted sound, answered back. "For a smart guy and a fast guy, you can be really slow." Roy took two steps into the dim light of the kitchen. "I came to find you. I said that I recognize your smell and I find it good. I didn't say _hug_ , I said _hold_. But you're so sensitive, so self-doubting, that I'm going to have to say _Show me, please,_ out loud. As a guy who's never admitted to having a fantasy about another guy, that's as far as I can go."

The cognitive dissonance felt like his ears were ringing for a long moment. Barry pushed away from the sink slowly, deliberately. He moved closer, trying not to analyze how much he wanted to move closer. Oliver had told him to close his eyes. But Roy didn't look like he'd flee. His eyes were steady. Barry stopped close but not touching. Roy had to tip his head up to maintain eye contact. Barry took a deep breath and said, "Need and trust. Give me five minutes. If it's not right, we'll know, no problem." 

Barry touched his hands to Roy's wrists and slid skin-over-skin along the outsides of his arms, up shoulders, neck, pausing to thumb the join of jaw and ears. His own skin sang with the memory of Oliver touching him, the sudden urgency and desperation he had felt. Roy seemed calmer although his breath was coming fast. And then, Roy's eyes flashed shut. 

Persisting, Barry slid his fingers into Roy's hair, caressing his scalp, and then down, behind shoulder blades and along hard muscles to the deep, velvety arch of Roy's low back. Only perhaps a minute had passed. Abruptly, Roy stepped forward, cheekbone resting along Barry's throat, bare chest against Barry's thin t-shirt, transmitting heat to his flesh. 

Barry allowed his arms to close. Roy's arms slid around his waist. For a moment, Barry thought it must be the sweetest possible way of saying _no, thank you_. And then Roy's hips completed their alignment. Height difference notwithstanding, certain facts were clear. Barry struggled for composure. Roy's hands tightened on his back, softened, and tightened again, feeling him. 

"I… like to kiss," Barry murmured. The impulse was strong. "Is that off limits?" He felt the slow shake of Roy's head, the opening of Roy's mouth against the skin of his throat, a trace of hot moisture. He ducked down and caught those usually so-annoying lips under his, unprepared for the instantly electric connection. In the first few moments, Barry was vaguely aware of some chairs and pans being dislodged and making a hellacious noise bouncing around the kitchen. And then Roy backed him hard against a wall. 

Reflexively, he flashed and found himself on top of Roy on the hallway rug. He pulled back. "Shit, sorry!"

Roy's fingers dug into his thighs. "Oh _hell_ no," Roy hissed. "Do it again, _surprise_ me like that." 

Barry consciously surged, flipped him, and thrust against his ass, teeth grazing the back of Roy's neck. From the incoherent sound of it, Roy approved. And then the command, "More."

At high speed, Barry retrieved a condom from the far reaches of his bag and did what was necessary so that the next thing Roy was aware of was being pressed deep into Barry's mouth. "Ah!" he yelled at the ceiling. His hips thrust up against the hold of Barry's hands. 

It was a bold advancement to make all at once. Barry had developed an affinity for the sensation of cock in his mouth, enhanced by the ability to bestow a pleasure he so craved himself. It had been a long month of just his own hands; the hope of something starting with Linda, or Iris finally returning his love, had been crushed in the time slip. He wanted this, their raw need finding solace, a pure moment.

"Wait, _wait_!" Roy exclaimed, hands hard on Barry's shoulders. "Don't make it happen yet." He was panting, the flesh in Barry's hands and mouth throbbing urgently. 

Barry stilled. When it seemed safe to move at all, he straightened up, hands gentle on Roy's belly and thigh. 

"Holy shit. You are fucking _fantastic_ at that, Allen."

"Last name, really?" Barry was forced to grin. "Was that enough of a surprise?"

Roy closed his eyes and heaved a deeper breath before opening them. "I need to tell you something."

It sounded ominous. Barry considered the possibilities. Prominent among them was that Roy, with his ripped body and pretty features, had perhaps not fared well in his younger days in rough company. He settled back on his heels, preparing to be supportive. "I'm listening."

Roy yanked his sweatpants over his condom-sheathed hard on. He sat up. "I love Thea. I still want her. But unlike you, I think I really am… also into guys." He paused. "I've never said that out loud before about myself. I fucking want you. You. Not just the release."

Barry's mouth went a little dry. It was something akin to the sensation of reaching for a stick and realizing it was a snake. 

"I had a moment a couple of months ago when Oliver took down that damn red candle and said, _There's something you need to know, Roy. Something that your mind has been trying to tell you. And I think it best if you help me let it…._ Look I… I'm not into him that way, but part of me wanted it to be exactly what it seemed to be. Yeah, my mentor wanting to help me meditate, remember the truth, that was the far better outcome. But I also felt disappointed." 

"Um, Wow."

"Tonight, I'm sure of it for the first time. It wouldn't be right to… to do this with you and pretend it's what you've experienced. That would be breaking the trust part of need and trust." Roy looked down at his hands against the rug. 

Barry realized that his heart rate was suddenly as fast as it would be at his top speed, and he worked to slow it down. "I just don't want anyone to be hurt. You or me. We have enough of that in our lives."

Roy's eyes flicked up, something like anger behind them. "I'm not professing _love_ or anything, fast boy."

"No, I didn't hear it that way. Just that we're coming at this from different angles. Not insurmountable, but important to know."

"I'm only telling you that when I said _hot rocket scientist_ , I meant it. Direct attraction, not redirected need."

Barry sagged back against the hallway wall. It really wasn't fair to Roy to let him think what he was thinking. "I don't know what to label what I am or what I feel. Before the whole need and trust thing, the thought of having sex with a guy was of no interest. But now I know I'm into Oliver, John. You. I couldn't touch you if I weren't. Especially not you in all your infuriating glory."

"What's so infuriating about me?" Roy demanded, a wry smile twisting his lips.

Barry laughed. "Well, you're less so since Dig explained that you had a hard life."

"I know I wasn't nice to you. I think I explained all that."

"Fully. Have you looked in a mirror ever?" 

Roy's expression softened. He didn't answer.

"I'm a nerd. Never proficient at women despite being very interested. I live a pretty lonely existence."

"That's all about your unspoken pledge to Iris. Not about how you look. And yeah, I've tomcatted my way through an absurd number of hookups. I'm not proud of it."

"A supermodel superhero."

"Ouch."

"Not to mention your high degree of machismo."

Roy shrugged. "Gang carriage."

"I have special powers. You just gut shit out. Superlatively. It's intimidating."

"Intimidating." Roy cleared his throat delicately. "I'm going to get up and get us each a beer." He stood and hauled Barry to his feet. "And then, I will disabuse you of any sense that I'm interested in _dominating_ you or upping my macho rank by explaining that I want you to fuck me." He turned heel and disappeared into the kitchen.

Stunned, Barry stood in the hall, hearing the sounds of chairs and pots being put right, the fridge opening and closing, bottles hissing open, lids chinking into the sink. Finally, he made himself move forward. Roy handed him a beer. "No pressure. But I want you to fuck me."

Barry sipped. With a burning face, he remembered how ready he had been, offering himself in the moment, how Dig's sensitivity to making sure everyone was okay before anyone did anything rash had back-burnered any such course of action. He sipped again, wetting a stress-dry throat. "Firstly, I don't think anyone is less of a man for wanting to be fucked. Do you?"

That caused Roy to raise an eyebrow.

"Surprise. Again. Not too long ago, I made such an offer myself."

Roy looked flabbergasted. "Oliver?"

"John. But… Oliver was there." That was revealing and entrusting a great deal. "Didn't happen. But I thought you should know that I understand the urge."

"He turned you down?" Roy sounded incredulous, like no one could ever be so stupid. 

It was flattering. "More complicated than that. They've never… well, John hasn't, I don't know about Oliver, that wasn't made explicit. I think John was being careful, responsible about feelings. Mine in particular, but his own as well."

Roy snorted. "Sounds like him. Don't expect me to be such a boy scout." He tipped his beer bottle. "You present that fine ass to me, I'm taking it, no questions asked." And then he grinned. 

Barry laughed. "Thought you weren't into topping me."

Shrugging, Roy took another slug of beer. "Another urge has first priority. I'm just saying."

Unusual declarations had been made. It was the small hours of the morning, yet Barry felt physically supercharged. Ten minutes ago he had been trying to make Roy come. Now they were standing around like it was almost happy hour. Confusing and yet clear. He put his bottle aside. "Well I'm oh-so-sensitive and responsible too. But you're a grown man, and when you make an offer, it should be taken at face value."

"Thank you for that."

Barry stepped closer. "I'm actually considering your offer."

"Cool," Roy seemed to be trying to sound nonchalant, but Barry felt an undercurrent of nerves from him.

"So I have to be responsible enough to ask whether there are possible emotional consequences that I should attend to, since there are with guys sometimes in the hetero way—I certainly had some emotional flutter losing my conventional virginity."

Roy whistled. "You are the real deal, Valhalla quality hero type."

"Thanks," Barry said, because Roy was not being sarcastic, just funny.

"I don't know," Roy replied, flatly. "I've never had sex with a guy. Unless you count awkward circle jerk type adolescent bullshit while high. That made me feel weird. But I'm seriously hot for you. So. If there is any major emotional reaction to having you actually _inside me_ , I will handle it like a grown person. I rather expect that you will too if you discover any unintended… warm fuzzies in getting off with me."

Barry had become used to frank conversations in the past several months, but this was setting a new standard. It was not a turnoff. 

Roy took another sip and licked the excess lager from his lips in such a way that communicated growing impatience. Which is why he found himself in the next breath empty-handed and fully naked on his bed, alone. "Are there raccoons in my bathroom?" He demanded to the disembodied noises. And then Barry was there, without a shred of clothing, wrapper and bottle in hand. Which he set aside. 

Naked, muscular Roy was once again intimidating and Barry bit down on his self-consciousness. Roy caught one of his hands, eyes roaming. The other hand reached up and traced a hip crest to the ab and downward. And then Roy was up on an elbow, sucking him, and Barry wavered on his feet. A groan escaped, which only encouraged Roy to make his own well-muffled sound of appreciation. Barry's head tipped back and his hand came to rest on the smooth fuzz at the back of Roy's skull. "You really should be using a condom to do that," he finally rasped, reluctant to lose the bare feel of Roy's tongue. 

Roy pulled back. "Factual warning or precautionary policy?"

"The latter."

"Noted." Roy flipped him to the bed and resumed. Barry lay pliant, really didn't have much choice. 

"You sure you haven't at least blown a guy before?"

"I have one of these, remember?"

That made Barry laugh in spite of the waves of irresistible pleasure. Roy took him dangerously close once, twice, and then stopped, moving to tangle their legs together and offer his mouth. They were giddily equal together, and the slide of skin, the pressure between them, the cling of mouths, would have been plenty for Barry. But eventually, Roy pushed him away, breaking the long string of kisses. He rested back, leaving Barry to figure it out. 

Reaching across him, Barry retrieved the condom and the bottle. He felt not up to the task. His libido disagreed. Looking amused, Roy took the bottle and squeezed lube onto his own fingers, directing it where needed. That left Barry to deal with the condom. He knelt between Roy's legs and frowned. "From general lore, this is going to hurt you."

"Training with Oliver hurts me."

"I'm guessing not like this."

"I'll stop you if I need you to stop." He reached down with slickened fingers and grabbed his own cock, stroking it hard so that it darkened even more, and then left it to bounce gently against his belly. 

Barry watched, mesmerized, keenly feeling his own response. He moved forward and tried for smooth and steady. He was the first to make a noise, unprepared for having missed the feeling, the inexplicable soothing of a primal need to be tightly sheathed in another person. Roy contracted around him strongly, and through the haze of sensation, Barry still knew it was the rebellion of muscles that didn't understand what was happening. He pressed firmly and held still until it subsided, not really sure what else to do. 

A breathy noise escaped Roy and Barry opened his eyes to check in. 

"You okay?" he husked, reaching for Roy's cock. It was no less hard. He began stroking. 

Roy moaned. "Fuck no, I'm not okay. I've needed to come for about an hour." 

Barry moved experimentally, not too fast, not too hard, but not tentatively either. "Me too," he breathed. 

"Just go for it. I think we're both going to like whatever happens."

Braced on one arm, with Roy propping his other shoulder, Barry rounded his hips into greater force, his hand squeezing Roy's cock as mercilessly as Roy was holding him inside. They lasted together maybe a couple of dozen strokes and then he experienced the maddening sensations of pouring himself into Roy's clutching ass while Roy came in his grip. At some point, Roy bit the hell out of his shoulder, which he didn't feel until some uncounted time later.

After, Barry didn't worry much about his weight. Roy didn't seem hampered or concerned. 

"That was exactly everything I hoped," Roy murmured muzzily against the bitten shoulder, and then he sighed. 

"I don't know what I expected," Barry said, feeling oddly choked up. "Not really."

Roy's hand lazily stroked Barry's skin. "You made it remarkably easy."

A few more heartbeats passed, and Barry felt himself slipping out. He dealt with that at hyper-speed and settled down next to Roy, hand on the other man's chest. 

"Has it occurred to you that if you do all the difficult or unpleasant work at Flash speed, you'll always be doing it alone?" Roy asked.

"This is going to sound _not_ the way I want it to. You aren't who I thought you were."

Roy laughed, lightly. "You either."

"And _that_ …. I'm blown away."

"Yeah, I was there," Roy said, with apparent humor. "All around you. But I get what you mean."

They didn't talk after that even though neither of them fell right to sleep. Roy got the light turned off and the sheet up around them. There was only the sound of their breath in counterpoint as they occupied the time and space together.  
*******

Barry was having a superbly nasty dream when he awoke on the cusp of coming hard into Roy's mouth. For real, in the daylight.

Afterward, Roy crawled up his shocking, gasping body and gazed down at him. "Oliver and John are safe—the text came in while I was making breakfast. They're maybe twenty hours out yet, but all's well."

"Oh my God," Barry said, and then the tears came. Roy surrounded him until it was over. 

"I probably should have told you before blowing you," Roy said, sounding only mildly regretful. "But when I walked in, you were obviously… worked up." 

Barry laughed ruefully. "I was dreaming about you fucking me… on your bike."

"Mmm. Sounds promising. But now, you're focused on the news of the safety of certain men, and you'll soon start to worry about things like how to tell them that the Flash busted Arsenal's cherry ass."

"I'm fairly sure I would never use anything like those words."

"Too bad," Roy said, "I'd pay to see their faces." 

Barry sat up. "Listen, that was you and me, not anyone's secret identity."

"I know that." His brow wrinkled. "I'd like to repeat it."

Relief washed over Barry. "Me too."

"That said, if an opportunity arises with Thea, I'll take it. I don't expect you to stop with whatever you've got going."

Barry studied Roy's face carefully. "Yeah. That whole thing… Oliver's casual message about a mission, without any details, and then realizing how serious it truly was and feeling like I lost them… it pulls into focus that I'm in it emotionally further than I should be. It started with Oliver offering to fill a very particular void in my life, not a relationship for its own sake. I'm not saying it's over, but I have to put it into perspective."

Roy blinked back at him. "Not for me you don't. When the dust settles, you tell the guys as little or as much as you want." He leaned in and kissed Barry long and slowly. Which led to Barry showing Roy what else his mouth could do, and this time, he took Roy all the way.

Finally, Barry looked at the bedside clock. "I have to leave on the 11 a.m. train. I'm expected at the precinct tonight." 

"No worries. And no Flash. I'll get you there." Roy rubbed Barry's stomach. "Is it okay if I reach out more often? Not for help…."

"God, yes. And for help too." He smiled. "After all, that's how we got here."

Roy's return smile seemed mysterious. "I suppose I should learn a lesson from that."

The next few minutes evaporated in a mad scramble of showering, eating, and packing.

They rode together in quiet. When Barry swung off the bike, Roy pulled off his own helmet and took a hard grip on Barry's shoulder. "Listen, I know our lives are crazy complicated, and I don't want to make that worse. I also don't want to accidentally give the wrong impression. I was being honest about Thea, but if you and I go on, and she comes back, I'd have to make it right both ways. Granted, _personal_ comes after _duty_ right now, and I think you're the same. But then, you'd be the top priority."

It was a shocker to the place deep in his psyche where all the rejections and marginalizing experiences had been piling up. Barry leaned in and hugged Roy hard. They lingered, aware of people surging around them, and then Barry ran for his train.  
*******

On the blissfully not crowded train, when Barry finally looked at his phone, he saw the earlier encrypted message about safe extraction marked _do not reply_. So, at least they had texted him at the same time as the others. Part of the team.

He called Oliver and got voicemail. "Hi. I'm so relieved. I should be pissed that you minimized what was going on, but in the end, I'm just grateful that you're safe. I've been in Starling helping Roy—long story with detours that I need to fill you in on when there's a quiet time to talk—but I have to be back at work tonight. Miss you. It's fine to take your time getting back to me, I'm doing great."

And then, John's phone. "Hey, Dig. Thank God you're safe. I don't think I said in words how much I appreciated you visiting last month. I know what all you have on your plate, and it meant a lot. Focus on home. We'll catch up when we can."

He settled in with a book, feeling a silly, warm contentedness that made it tough not to keep rereading the same sentence while he daydreamed. His phone buzzed with a text. He coded past the privacy screen. 

_Dammit. My ass aches, but all I can think about is you doing me again._

Barry shuddered. It was a good shudder. He started to compose the first reply of what he was gathering would be many.  
*******


End file.
